Of Cats and Crates
by viper's fang
Summary: In which Chat Noir has a little too much fun during an akuma battle. Guest-starring the Box Ghost as a convenient akuma. Pure parody.


**This time around, I did a parody based around a YouTube video I remember seeing that involved Chat getting stuck in a box. Because I am lazy, the cause of this was an akuma. But not just any old akuma, the Box Ghost! Kinda. Let's say he's a die-hard fan. It's kinda dumb and really out of character and of course I'm borrowing a character from Danny Phantom. So really, the idea for this, the characters involved, etc. are all not mine. Only the scenario is. Well, hope you find it funny at least.**

* * *

"I am the Box Ghost 2.0! Fear me!" the glowing translucent man shouted as he floated down the street, collecting boxes from nearby shops as people ducked and dodged the cardboard cubes.

Ladybug swung over, hearing the screams of Parisians. She stopped short, however, upon seeing this apparent akuma. He didn't seem to be harming anyone. At worst, he was inconveniencing who wanted to send a package that day. Was there even a motivation or negative emotion behind this akuma? Did Hawkmoth just decide to pull an April Fool's Day prank or something? Hawkmoth didn't strike Ladybug as the kind of person to have a sense of humor, but how else was this supposed to be explained? And no, it wasn't April 1st. She remembered it wasn't because she had a project due in a week on May 17. ...Which she desperately needed to finish because her grade in English wasn't so great. Maybe she could just go home for this one?

While she stood on a rooftop pondering this mystery, she spotted her little black cat darting over to the akumatized victim. Briefly, she felt a flash of guilt. Here she was, contemplating going home to get some urgent homework done and her kitty cat was running out there to face the enemy alone. No matter how trivial, Ladybug needed to cleanse every akuma. She had to be responsible not only as a student, but as Ladybug, the hero. There was a small rush of pride that she felt for her partner. That is, until she saw him attempt to leap in one of the floating boxes.

She watched in fascination and frustration as he jumped into the air again, swiping at an empty medium-sized box that floated just out of his reach. At this point, she wasn't sure if she wanted to laugh or go down and slap the stupid cat. The Box Ghost threw a fit when he spotted Chat Noir. "You dare to claw at the cardboard awesomeness that is a box?" He proceeded to direct a whole barrage of the boxes at Chat Noir, sweeping him up and smashing him into a wall. Ladybug decided that maybe it was time for her to intervene, so she leaped down from her roof, catching the wannabe ghost off-guard.

It wasn't hard to guess where the akuma was. There was a box that wasn't being manipulated around the victim. Instead, it was a small cardboard parcel that fit in the palm of the Box Ghost's hand. That had to be it. It was so obvious that Ladybug wanted to doubt that it was really that easy. And the shape of the akuma's container didn't give any clue or indication as to why he had become akumatized. Usually it wasn't hard to guess, but maybe this guy just had a particularly strong attachment to boxes? ANYWAY!

Ladybug shook herself out of her thoughts just in time to see brown paperboard filling her vision. She leaped back to avoid being hit by...a flying cereal box? Ugh, seriously? She continued to dodge the square-shaped projectiles while pointedly blocking out a tirade about why boxes were awesome. If boxes were so awesome, why was this guy flinging them everywhere without care as weapons? He didn't seem to like them as much as he claimed he did. But she didn't point that out. Instead, she cast a glance around for Chat Noir. He couldn't have gotten that hurt in that last attack, could he?

She immediately regretted any concern she felt when she spotted the leather-suited 'hero' half-squeezed, half spilled out of one of the fallen boxes, a contented look on his face. She was so going to kill him later. For now, Ladybug refocused her attention on the villain in front of her. That cat could be skinned some other time. This akuma needed to be taken care of. Now. Not because he was a danger, but because he was annoying the crap out of her and she still had that project to start for English!

Deciding it was time to end this little parody party, Ladybug threw her magical yoyo forward, catching the akumatized victim by the wrist. She yanked none-too-gently, pulling the man forward through the air. While he was disoriented, she snagged the small box in his hands and smashed it against the ground. As per the norm, she purified the little butterfly and sent it on its way without much ceremony. A confused man was left in the Box Ghost's place and Ladybug decided she'd let the police handle the cleanup of this one. She hadn't used her Lucky Charm, and by extension, her magical cure. So boxes littered the street, dropped the exact moment that the butterfly was purified. She did not have the time to clean up this mess. Surely the police could sort out this little problem this time, right?

Now she had to go home and get some real work done. But before that…

* * *

Chat Noir couldn't be happier. This box somehow was just so wonderful! He snuggled more deeply into it, letting out a yelp when he sunk in too far and landed half-in the box. He struggled to pull himself out, but his legs were wedged in the bottom. Panic rose in his throat as he tried again, but the box wasn't budging. And of course, this particular box just so happened to be a wooden crate rather than the cardboard boxes that seemed to make up the vast majority of the Box Ghost's arsenal.

Whining, the oversized cat rocked the box back and forth in hopes that it would tip and knock him loose. He even tried clawing at the sides, but the crate didn't give. Even when Chat Noir did successfully manage to tip the crate, it still didn't shake him loose. Positively yowling now, he dug at the ground with his claws, which got him exactly nowhere.

"Aw, did you fall in, Chaton?" a familiar but sickly sweet voice said from above him. Chat paused his desperate clawing to notice the red and black-spotted feet inches away from his outstretched hands. He quickly propped himself on his elbow, the top half of his body impressively managing to look casual.

"What are you talking about? Do you mean to ask if I fell in love with you?" he flirted, grinning widely to hide his embarrassment. For once, Ladybug didn't say anything to deny his flirting. She didn't have to. Chat could vaguely see her eyes wander to the crate that was firmly stuck on him from the waist down. By the time that her laughing blue eyes found his again, Chat knew that there was nothing he could do to distract her attention.

Dropping the smooth and suave act, he whimpered, "Please help me out of here; I'm stuck!"

Ladybug hummed and rested her chin against her hand like she was thinking it over. "I don't know…"

"Please, my Lady?"

"Well, you didn't help me with this last akuma, so I'm going to have to answer no," Ladybug answered definitively, smirking down at him. "Why should I help you if you don't help me? Besides, I think it's kind of cute," she teased, crouching down to playfully tap the bell on his collar.

Any other time, his heart would be soaring from being described as 'cute' by his Lady, but now it made Chat whine. He desperately pulled at the crate, no longer caring what it looked like. His legs were starting to go a little numb, and it didn't look like Ladybug was going to help. What if he was stuck in the box for the rest of his life? What if…?

All of a sudden, Chat's ears picked up a small shutter sound. His head swung around in time to catch Ladybug barely concealing large chortles as she held her yoyo up. At first he was confused. Then he realized what must've happened.

"Please tell me you're deleting that!" he pleaded, swiping for her feet. But Ladybug just danced a bit further out of reach, openly laughing now. She triumphantly turned around, smugly swinging her yoyo in circles.

"Sorry, alley cat. Gotta run!" she half-gasped in amusement before throwing her yoyo and swinging away into the city skyline.

Chat Noir stared after her in disbelief, never feeling more wounded. Then, just to add to his humiliation, "Mom, is that Chat Noir?" He sighed and sagged into the ground. This was going to be a long day that no one was ever gonna let him forget the whole rest of his superhero career, wasn't it?


End file.
